Reader, I am getting some severe de ja vu from the the poster for Liberation Escape Rooms ‘Citadel Of Conundrums’ expertise, however I am having hassle inserting it. I do not suppose I have been to this escape room earlier than, by no means having visited the city of Southaven, Mississippi. Maybe I ought to go? The evaluations are positively glowing. “Very thrilling and distinctive escape rooms,” writes Anna R. 5 stars! “In the present day’s sport within the Citadel simply blew us away,” enthuses Tracey S. 5 stars once more! An unmissable expertise by all accounts. And but, I might really feel woefully unequiped to tackle the Citadel Of Conundrums if I can not remedy the way more urgent conundrum at hand.
“The king and his knights are on a quest to guard the crown. Whereas they’re away, a brand new and formidable menace seems simply past the citadel partitions,” reads the lore blurb. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Worst doable time this might have occurred. “Are you able to show your worthiness in Merlin’s trials, turn out to be a knight, and defend the dominion?”. Wait. What? Why is Merlin holding trials when the citadel is at risk from a menace – want I remind you – that’s simply past the citadel partitions?! There isn’t any time in your traditional chicanery, Merlsy! We want knights now.
A well-known set-up, little doubt. However no, no. That is not it. There’s one thing else acquainted in regards to the poster for Liberation Escape Rooms Presents The Citadel Of Conundrums Advisable for 2-8 gamers Issue 4 out of 5. Why, it is that plaque within the prime left, is not it? The breastplate. The crossed swords. Why, that is positively Darkish Knight Armoury’s Heraldic Eagle Breastplate with Two Ornamental Swords Wall Plaque! The one drawback is that I’ve by no means laid eyes on Darkish Knight Armoury’s Heraldic Eagle Breastplate with Two Ornamental Swords Wall Plaque, so it should be one thing else.
“Now we have performed a handful of escape rooms within the Memphis space and this was by far top-of-the-line!!!!!” writes Alicia B. 5 stars once more! Are you able to not see the subterfuge occurring proper earlier than your eyes, Alicia? You and your different 5 star compatriots? Are you so swayed by Liberation Escape Rooms’ – by all accounts – unbeatable customer support that you’ve got willingly blinded your self to the lies contained within the poster for The Citadel Of Conundrums Advisable for 2-8 gamers Issue 4 out of 5? Is it left solely to me to unpack its uncanny familiarity; the only possessor of open eyes in a land the place gummy-lidded herds chew mindlessly on opiatic cud like new child foals?
Cling on. Cling on. It is the bloody font, is not it? Basic bluebeard. I might recognise you wherever. Phew.
(All credit score Complete Struggle reddit)
