Self-Pity at its Most interesting
That is the newest mannequin I’ve created for enjoyable, which surprisingly ended up turning into very priceless for me: The Self-Pity Pyramid.
The Self-Pity Pyramid categorizes life occasions into 21 tiers, starting from the least deserving to probably the most deserving of self-pity. It presents a barely extra goal option to decide how a lot self-pity it is best to bestow your self in numerous conditions.
Whereas a bit tongue-in-cheek, I’ve already surprisingly obtained worth and utility from it in my life. When life throws challenges my approach and I begin to really feel overwhelmed, this mannequin helps me put my struggles into perspective by figuring out how a lot self-pity I deserve.
Earlier this yr, some unlucky issues occurred to me, and I began having all these unfavorable ideas about how my life was falling aside. Then I remembered to go have a look at the Self-Pity Pyramid and found I used to be solely experiencing Tier 3 out of 21. This realization made me really feel extra grounded and helped me see that I shouldn’t waste time feeling sorry for myself.
As an alternative, I picked myself up and gained energy in addition to perspective from this psychological train.
In fact, the precise tiers will be custom-made to align along with your values. Anybody can rearrange the tiers primarily based on their private beliefs about which experiences are extra painful. So long as you genuinely want to undergo a decrease tier over the next one, this mannequin stays legitimate. (So don’t argue with me for those who suppose one tier needs to be above one other; it’s as much as you ways you wish to scale your self-pity!)
Moreover, every Self-Pity Layer has an Motion Plan that offers you a private suggestion on what it is best to do for those who expertise that life occasion.
Equally, you’ll be able to customise the Motion Plans to what you suppose is extra applicable for every layer too.
The Self-Pity Pyramid
Self-Pity Layer 1: First World Issues (Tiers 1-6)
These are points that we face regularly however will solely realistically have an effect on us for a couple of hours to some weeks. We will reliably get well and develop from these challenges. Those that let these points have an effect on them negatively for months or years can seemingly enhance their lives by enhancing their resilience and transferring on to larger futures. Motion Plan: Endure and Emerge Stronger
Tier 1: You thought you’ll have one thing wonderful, however ended up not getting it
- Minor disappointments, whereas momentarily upsetting, are a part of on a regular basis life and usually simple to beat.
Tier 2: Encountering a social interplay the place somebody by accident stated one thing offensive
- Minor social misunderstandings, although uncomfortable, are sometimes resolvable and fewer impactful in the long term.
Tier 3: Encountering social battle or being known as incorrect or aggressive names
- Social conflicts and verbal aggressions can have an effect on one’s emotional state and social interactions.
Tier 4: Failing an necessary examination or venture
- Failure in important educational or skilled endeavors can result in emotions of inadequacy and the necessity for redirection.
Tier 5: Experiencing a big private or skilled rejection
- Rejections will be disheartening, impacting one’s self-confidence and future outlook.
Tier 6: Going via a painful however non-life-threatening harm or sickness
- Accidents or diseases that trigger ache and require restoration time however are usually not life-threatening nonetheless impression each day life and well-being.
Self Pity Layer 2: Life’s Hardships (Tiers 7-11)
These are occasions which might be actually troublesome to endure, however the common individual would most likely expertise these a couple of instances of their lives. Regardless of the ache and problem, pushing via with assist from family members may help you develop past these challenges and return to a productive life. Motion Plan: Persevere & Join with Buddies
Tier 7: Dealing with reasonable monetary hardship or loss
- Monetary difficulties, whereas not catastrophic, require appreciable adjustment and may trigger stress and nervousness.
Tier 8: Failing a serious life-defining endeavor or experiencing extreme public humiliation
- Important failures or public humiliation can problem one’s shallowness and societal standing.
Tier 9: Experiencing important betrayal or relationship breakdown
- Main betrayals or the collapse of necessary relationships can result in profound emotional misery and emotions of isolation.
Tier 10: Enduring short-term imprisonment for wrongful conviction
- Brief-term wrongful imprisonment topics people to injustice and important private and social challenges.
Tier 11: Struggling a career-ending skilled setback
- The abrupt finish of a profession resulting from unexpected circumstances can shatter one’s skilled id and future aspirations.
Self-Pity Layer 3: Devastation (Tiers 12-15)
These are actually devastating occasions in life that might trigger life-long struggling if unresolved. Those that undergo this could search loads of assist wherever that may very well be obtained, together with governmental support. Motion Plan: Search Assist & Handouts
Tier 12: Dealing with unescapable excessive poverty or homelessness even after working diligently
- Persistent poverty and homelessness, regardless of diligent effort, can result in a way of hopelessness and social alienation.
Tier 13: Enduring long-term imprisonment for wrongful conviction
- Wrongful imprisonment robs people of their freedom and topics them to extended injustice and hardship.
Tier 14: Experiencing rape or violent sexual assault
- Violent sexual assault is a deeply traumatic expertise that impacts an individual’s sense of security, belief, and self-worth.
Tier 15: Affected by continual and debilitating bodily and psychological sickness
- Continual diseases can considerably diminish high quality of life, requiring ongoing adaptation and resilience.
Self-Pity Layer 4: Life & Dying (Tiers 16-18)
These are points involving the everlasting lack of family members or dealing with one’s personal mortality. Usually, there’s little or no you are able to do, and it’s insensitive to even counsel staying sturdy. Throughout these instances, you totally should mourn for so long as you want, hoping that point will slowly heal you, bodily or emotionally. Motion Plan: Mourn & Heal
Tier 16: Experiencing a life-threatening illness or situation
- Dealing with a extreme well being disaster challenges one’s bodily and psychological fortitude, typically reshaping life priorities and capabilities.
Tier 17: Dropping a liked one to a tragic incident or sickness
- The sudden lack of a detailed member of the family or good friend is heart-wrenching and may profoundly alter one’s life.
Tier 18: Watching family and friends get killed in chilly blood
- The trauma of witnessing family members murdered in chilly blood leaves lasting emotional scars and a deep sense of loss.
Self-Pity Layer 5: Torturous (Tiers 19-20)
This layer is worse than dying, usually skilled solely by these enduring wartime horrors (like my grandfather, who was captured by the Chinese language Communist Celebration as a soldier) or victims of extreme psychopaths. Bodily, you have to discover any approach doable to stop the abuse. Emotionally, there’s little you are able to do in addition to hoping your tormentor will allow you to go. You deserve nothing however pity. Motion Plan: Beg for Mercy
Tier 19: Being tortured to dying
- Enduring extended bodily and psychological ache resulting in dying is an final type of struggling.
Tier 20: Watching family and friends being tortured to dying
- Witnessing the intense struggling and demise of family members is profoundly devastating and deeply impacts one’s psychological state.
Self-Pity Layer 6: Most Pity (Tier 21)
That is the epitome of struggling. Even serious about it makes most individuals cringe with discomfort and disgust. Such horrors happen solely throughout wartime or in states of lawlessness the place the tormentor can also be a extreme psychopath. Sadly, some folks do endure this degree of struggling, and all they’ll do is put this life behind them and hope for non secular salvation within the afterlife. They deserve most pity that the world can supply. Motion Plan: Pray
Tier 21: Being tortured whereas watching family members being tortured to dying
- This represents the top of human struggling, the place the person endures unimaginable bodily and emotional agony.
Empower Your self with the Self-Pity Pyramid
Navigating life’s challenges will be overwhelming, however the Self-Pity Pyramid presents a novel perspective that empowers you to handle and overcome adversity. By categorizing life occasions into 21 tiers, this mannequin helps you perceive and validate your emotions whereas encouraging resilience and energy.
Share this revolutionary software with family and friends to assist them achieve a recent outlook on their struggles. The Self-Pity Pyramid is not only a option to measure your hardships—it’s a information to reworking self-pity into private progress. Whether or not you’re dealing with minor disappointments or profound losses, this mannequin can present the readability and motivation wanted to maintain transferring ahead.
Warning: solely use particular Tiers on folks you don’t like
Whereas sharing the entire Self-Pity Pyramid to folks is okay and will even trigger a couple of chuckles (whereas truly being a great tool later when problem comes), DO NOT inform your mates who’re moping, “Hey look, you might be solely going via Tier 4, so cease moping.” You’ll not be appreciated by your mates.
Nevertheless, if you’re interacting with folks you don’t like on-line who’re demonstrating an immense quantity of self-pity that you simply really feel is undeserved, then you’ll be able to share the mannequin and inform them that they’re solely Tier 2 out of 21 to allow them to take a chill capsule.
Share your awkward social interactions!
When you have fascinating interactions with “Self-Pity Warriors,” please share them right here so I can perceive how folks reply to new views of the difficulties they’re going via. Not less than now you have got a software to speak how victimized an individual ought to really feel, which may be very at the moment in at the moment’s social panorama.
Good luck in your journeys. I’ll be praying even once I’m not in Self-Pity Layer 6.
